Ok people it is time you get it once and for all: not everyone will like your perfume of choice so tone it down. Some people are even allergic to ingredients in your perfume, so tone it down. Many people are just sensitive and will get headaches from strong odors, so tone it down.  You may love the smell of your fancy pants perfume, that does not mean it is ok to drench yourself in it. A perfume is meant to be noticeable in close contact, not all the way across a restaurant floor, not two tables down, not so it overpowers the scent of your food (and especially not that of other customers’ food), not so people react immediately when walking into a room where you and your perfume are lingering. A touch, a small whiff, is all you need. Too much perfume is annoying, it is insensitive of the user and it smells. It smells too much. For those allergic and sensitive it smells bad, it causes headaches, and worst case scenario, it can causes a severe allergic reaction. Now you do not want to be responsible for that do you? So tone it down.

Now, I really, really want to tell all those with too much perfume just how annoying they are. How badly it smells. How much it annoys me. Yet I don’t. I suppose I could do it in a nice way, be polite about it. Or I could tell them more matter of factly. More forcefully. Either way, I am pretty sure they will not want to listen, get angry and ignore me. That’s what people do with unsolicited advice, they hate it. Especially advice that they do not care about. Then again, one would think people could differentiate between 1) unsolicited advice that is useless and concerns or/benefits no one but the one giving it 2) unsolicited advice that taken, would actually benefit a shitlload of people and even give the offender a better social standing (not having to stand alone in their putrid, cheap perfume cloud). Of course, people are generally not very concentrated with the well being of others, so I suppose that is wishful thinking.

Those drenching themselves in perfume do so because they already do not care about others, they are already insufferable (smelly) egomaniacs. If they did care, they would have thought about it on their own, they would have paused and given it a thought. I know this, because everyone I have spoken to about perfumes either get it or they don’t. The ones who get it immediately say something along the lines of ‘naturally I try to not use much, I do not want to impose (my perfume) on anyone else’. The ones who don’t get it respond with something like ’Seriously, grow up’, “I can do what I want, get over it’ or ‘it’s a free world’. Yes indeed, it is a free world. Sadly, it is. Perfume may be a small matter (except for those who have trouble breathing, but who’s counting) but small matters grow, they collect over time and all these small matters that people can’t be bothered to be sensitive and considerate about become big matters. Many small maters are what as-holes are made of, selfish, inconsiderate as-holes. So, unless you really like being an inconsiderate as-hole, stop it with the perfume already, think about someone besides yourself. It really is not that difficult. It won’t even hurt.