Question everything, that is what we want to teach our son. Questioning something does not make you rude, and it doesn’t make you not understanding of other cultures’. It simple makes you an interested, curious and knowledge thirsty person. Questions begets questions, it gets you thinking. The more you ask the more you will learn. The more you question the world around you, the way we treat others, the knowledge we share, the more emphatic you will become to others, to their emotions as well as of other peoples’ way of life.

The most important things is to always ask why and not just accept knowledge as it is handed to you. Asking one question, does not mean you are done. What is the point of knowing that something, such as a religious ceremony, is performed in a particular way, if you do not know why? What do the parts of the ceremony entail, what is the belief behind the different aspects, why is this done and for whom, by whom?

I’ll be honest, nothing infuriates me more than ignorance. Well maybe acceptance, a silent acquiescence of things and the way they are, a disinterest in finding out more, a shoulder shrug that conveys, ‘that’s the way it is and has always been done’ that gives our kids the message to just accept what they are told as true. This is especially bothersome when it is perpetuated by those very people entrusted to teach our children.

At our son’s school in Thailand, Buddhist monks had been invited to the school, to bless the school. This is great. We are in Thailand and this is a great opportunity to learn about Buddhism and the part that Buddhism plays in Thai society.

The parents were invited to join in this ceremony at the school, and naturally I was curious. What did this blessing entail, why are such blessings performed, what are they chanting, why the incense, why the rice, the monetary gifts and so on. Before the monks arrived the teachers went over some ground rules with the kids: do not show the palms of your feet, girls may not touch the monks, not even accidentally when handing something over, do not make eye contact, girls must cover their knees and their shoulders. Great, we are guests in Thailand so naturally there is no reason to not act respectfully and to adhere to basic Thai manners. However, the reasons for any of the rules, for the ceremony, were never discussed, not a single rule was explained. Apart from stating that that monks were at the school to bless the school not a word was uttered as to why. Furthermore, what the heck is a blessing? Four, five, six, seven, eight year old kids, kids in their early teens, do they get what a blessing is (remember, these are secular Swedish kids)?

I was standing with some other mothers watching this introduction to the monks visit. Upon discussing the monks impending visit, we realized not one of us had heard any explanations and when prompted not a single child could answer any of our questions. So apparently they had not talked about it.

So, basically a bunch of men in orange sheets come to the school one day and chant for an hour, they are presented with money and rice, and the teachers bow down in front of these men, palms together, touching their heads to the floor whilst putting on solemn, respectful, even reverent, faces. All adults walk around slightly bowed over, backing out of the room, and even backing sitting down and not a single thing of this has been explained?

A slightly older girl twelve or so, said they had been told the basics: Buddhism is a religion, there was this guy called Siddhartha Gautama and he wanted to find the meaning of life, through trial and error he realized fasting was not the way to go, but Buddhism apparently was, so at age 35 he knew this and he was from then on called Buddha. Because of this guy, Buddha, they (men) live in temples, wear orange and chant a lot. The kids had visited a temple and been shown what is done in temples, but not why. Not a single kid could tell us why. Not a single kid knew if Buddha ever found the meaning of life or what he was looking for. Not a single kid could say if Buddha is a god or not. The kids had enjoyed the visit, the temple was nice, it was fun lighting incense. Period.

Backed by a couple of moms I approached the teachers to ask if the kids had had the reasoning behind these rules explained to them. The teachers quite snottily replied that of course they had. So I asked what is the reasoning then? Why may women not touch monks or show their knees, whilst there is no similar law against men touching monks or showing their knees? The reply was quick, ‘so the monks won’t be tempted’.

Eh? That’s it? Apparently it was and I was dismissed by the group of teachers (all women by the way). Conversation over. Let me get this straight, these teachers tell kids the monks must not be tempted by the girls in the school and that is alright and the end of the discussion? Come on, teachers (yes, you, it is your job to teach, to educate, sin’t it?) exactly what does that mean? I am sure the older girls get it, they get what that temptation consists of (even if  they shouldn’t have to get it because it simply is not true nor right or ok to put that burden on girls, simply for ebing girls),. The younger kids naturally don’t get it, except implicitly; girls are bad around men/boys and there is a difference between girls and boys and well, bouys get to do more stuff than girls, and girls can cause lots of evil shit to go down, simply by being girls… .

Way to go feminism in 2015. Way to go teachers ed. Way to go teaching our kid about sexism and all that. Way to perpetuating stereotypes and fostering disinterested, unquestioning kids

Let’s say we don’t even discuss the implication that women are devalued (and also excluded – ever seen any female monks in Buddhism?) In this particular setting, we still have a gender division that for the small kids bear no meaning, but that is there nonetheless, and leaves an impression. One of many more to come.

I am pretty shocked that modern teachers have not reflected on this, I naively thought that as gender issues are part of the (state mandated) curriculum, teachers would at least notice and recognize clear issues. We can not just let gender divisions and inequalities lay, they must be addressed and explained. I guess what is equally sad is that not a single student opened their mouths and questioned these rules themselves.

Beyond the gender issue at hand we have the issue of religion. Teaching about religion is wonderful, learning about the world’s religions is a must, but if you are going to introduce a religion then do it properly. Not a single kid came out of this with a deeper understanding of religion or Buddhism. There was no contextual background whatsoever: Why is Buddhism widespread in Thailand? Why do most all homes, shops and restaurants have small shrines? If Buddhism has no Gods, than to whom are the Buddhists offering? What exactly do the monks believe and why do they meditate? What the hell is Buddhism really? What is religion and why do many of us show such fervent respect for religious rituals and religious representatives? Is a religion true or a matter of belief? What is a belief? But alas, no, there were no such discussions at all. The monks and Buddhism was introduced to the kids as fact, not as a set of ideas. The kids were told to obey a given number of rules, they were not told why. The kids were told this is the way it is, not why. The kids were told, do not tempt the monks, sit still, shut up. Way to go teaching kids acquiescence.

I am sure the teachers saw this as an innocent, interesting visit by some monks. Nothing more, nothing less. That does not  make it right. The teachers job is more encompassing than simply doling our uncontested information. I see it as a way of perpetuating myths; the myth that monks/priests/religious representatives are worthy of deeper respect and adaptations of the public’s’ behavior without the need of explanations or justifications. I see it as the acceptance of gender bias. I see it as a bad, sad example of school gone wrong. I see it as a squandered opportunity. I saw a bunch of kids, bored shitless by a bunch of chanting monks. I saw disinterested, tuned out kids, with no knew understanding or knowledge, besides the ‘accepted’ basics; Buddhists are men in orange robes and shaved heads who chant and who don’t like women and whom we should all bow down to. Learn anything new at school today honey?